I have experienced a lot of emotional pain in the last few years and I wanted to share with you some of my ways of how I have dealt with this.
Like anything, it's about awareness. We first have to become aware of that we are in pain and once we are aware, that gives us the ability to choose if we let it go or hang on to the pain. Becoming consciously aware gives us the power to choose and life is all about choices.
If you find yourself stuck and finding it hard to move forward, then it's a sign that you have emotional pain that prevents you from from healing.
There is always learnings from hurtful/painful situations. But it can be easy to become "stuck" in thinking about "how things should have been". One thing is absolutely clear - we cannot change the past. We all know that, so why do we sometimes choose to become immobilized in painful memories and feelings? Isn't it better that we realise we have a choice to change our thinking about the past and learn how to "let go".
If you feel stuck and find it hard to let go, then let me share with you some of my ways that have helped me how to deal with emotional pain.
Address your thoughts and words
When you become aware of having a negative thought, take the time to re-frame that thought or that sentence. For example, if you think or tell yourself - "I am stuck", you can reframe it to " I am moving forward easily and effortlessly". You can also create a mantra that you repeat to yourself as you are out walking
Focus on You
This is so important. It's not selfish at all! Bring yourself in the present moment. Focus on something that you are grateful for in the present moment. The present moment with yourself is a wonderful place to discover.
Distance Yourself
Distancing or removing yourself physically from the person or situation that is causing you to be "out of balance" can be helpful. It brings the focus on to you as you are becoming less reminded about the "situation"
Be Gentle with You
This is so important. As yourself if you treat yourself with kindness and compassion? Would you talk to your best friend as you talk to yourself? Start treating yourself with love and compassion. You are deserving of that and it's necessary if you want to move forward.
Start practising mindfulness
The key is really to stay in the present moment. When we are in the present moment we have more freedom to choose how we respond to our lives.
Be gentle with yourself
The key is really to stay in the present moment. When we are in the present moment we have more freedom to choose how we respond to our lives.
Allow yourself to "ride" the negative emotions
Avoiding the negative emotions such as sadness and anger can stop the process of letting go. instead allow yourself to feel the emotions - "ride them", let the flow through you. If you don't theyu can "get stuck" - wouldn't it be better to let them go so that they don't manifest as illness.
Accept that you can only control you
Sometimes we want a person to understand or apologise but that is not an expectation we can have. They may never understand and you may never get an apology. One thing that we can do though is to choose to accept that having expectations on someone else is not helpful and it can prevent us from healing. Ask yourself, wouldn't it be better to focus on you and what you can control.
Take care of you
It's so important to practise self care and self love. To do what brings us joy and happiness and to start to listen to our own needs. Start to honour your own heart. This is a game changer. Then you step into being an empowered being. Always remember - you are worth it!
Spend time and surround yourself with people who truly care
It's so important to open ourselves to lean on people who care. This can help us during times of emotional pain and help us let go and move forward. Isolation is not the key to emotional healing. We as humans need connection and closeness. Allow yourself to have this.
Give yourself permission to seek support
It's important to allow oneself to talk about it. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It's more important to get it out and let it go. Find a friend you can trust and who can hold that space or a therapist trained to do so
Forgiveness
Forgiveness for oneself is necessary if we want to "let go" so we can heal. To expect someone else to forgive us for anything can stop the process of "letting go". Forgiveness gives us the power to let go of many unwanted emotions.
Reach out
Always remember to reach out if you are noticing yourself being really down and stuck. Help is out there.
The other thing I wanted to share with you today is short "letting go and forgive yourself" meditation.
Karin xx
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